Most of what I do is facts and figures; however, Kathy, my wife for 20 years, was never just and idea or an equation. From the very early parts of our friendship, even before we started dating, Kathy made the world and the people in it come alive for me. She became the glue that held my life together; the inspiration for understanding the sunrise and the sunset and the day in between.

Kathy and I met when she was still in high school and I was going to Cal State, Hayward. I start attending the Berkeley Adventist Church, her home church to help with its inner city ministries. There were no immediate sparks between us but it was not long before a very true friendship was growing. I could trust her for she was compassion, I was happy when she was around for she was laughter, and I was safe with her because she was a refuge. For her, I was the one who allowed her to take flight, but for me she the one who allowed me to land, to come home and stay safely in her arms.

We have always had this little argument about who held whose hand first, but hold hands that first time was just a natural extension of the affection that we were feeling for each other. A few weeks later it took me over an hour on the front steps of the church to explain, to discuss, to expound upon the reasons why we should consider dating each other. Her response was delivered in just one word, “Yes.” Later she told me she was starting to wonder what had taken me so long and she was not talking about the speech because she knew I had a tendency to ramble. She was talking about getting around to asking her to be my girlfriend. So when it came time to ask her a question again, this time I took her to the front pew of the church; my speech to under 10 minutes while I knelt down on my knee in God’s house and asked her to marry me. She again had a one-word answer, “Yes.” By the time of our wedding vows on Sept. 3rd, 1989, I had my speech down to a minute and this time she said a lot more to that just, “Yes.”

It was not the places we lived in or the places that we saw together that cause the strong memories. What causes the strong memories is the time we shared together. It was not always a happy easy road, but whatever it was we traveled it together, growing together and toward God. As some of you may know we have three daughters. The first was born in June of 1994 and passed away 12 days later. Kathy only got to hold Jasmine Marie once just before she was taken off the machines. Isabelle Meagan which means “God promises a valuable pearl” was born the next April. We and nature then waited 5 years for Hailey Marissa. Kathy greatest desire and joy was to be a mother. I am being a little too bold here, but watching the attention and care that she put into each of our children was the sexiest thing I have ever seen. How could I not love and support her as my wife, for every day she proved that she was worthy of much more.

The greatest moments of Kathy’s life revolved around her family and her friends’ families and hence she was dedicated to the children’s ministries of the Berkeley and Pleasant Hill churches, Discoveryland, PHAA, and Pathfinders. She has been the primary homeroom parent for the class of 2013 for 9 of the 10 years so far. She has been a Pathfinder counselor and club secretary. She looked forward to trips like Osh Kosh and Teen Rock Climbing. Redwood Campmeeting is going to be hard this year because it was a wonderful vacation that we all enjoyed spending together. Kathy liked the fellowship and peaceful natural surroundings and the rest of us liked the river. There were also the special family vacations to Jamaica, Disneyland, Reno, San Diego and Las Vegas. I will never be able to walk the streets or Monterey, Carmel, Ferndale, San Francisco, etc without seeing her beside me smiling, laughing, and just enjoying life.

The hardest moment of Kathy’s life was the loss of her Grandmother 3 years ago. She loved to spend time with Nana, she wanted to be just like Nana. The greatest compliment you could give her was to tell her she was like her Nana and there is no doubt in my mind that she was just like her Nana. She hated being the center of attention but she was the center and the glue for so many people.

I will desperately miss watching her apply her God-given gifts to help others. Kathy also felt wonderful in my arms and at my side. But the best place that Kathy felt wonderful was enclosed in my heart and I will always carry her there.

Kathy, I now pray that God will watch over us until we see you again with Jasmine in your arms. I am so glad for the times we spent together and I am looking forward to us sitting down and having supper with Jesus.  God has used you to show us love, may you now rest in peace until He returns. Amen.

So I would like to leave you with this image  –  an angel is standing under a willow tree in a meadow at the side of a lake. In the angel’s arms is a baby girl. Kathy instantly recognizes the baby as the angel hands Jasmine Marie to her and says “Your Loving Heavenly Father loves you and is granting you your greatest desire. In this new heaven of love and joy, you have been assigned the privilege of motherhood forever. Do you accept?”  Kathy has no words to respond, she takes Jasmine and holds her close to her chest, tears of joy running down her cheeks. This is the next thing Kathy will know, that she will be a mother forever and nothing could please her more, except for her friends and family to stop by once in while for a visit.